okay i am having a problem
or i was..
maybe i still am.
someone wants to buy my work. my little things i make for the classes.
they are very complimentary and want to buy them for art. they plan on framing them and giving them as gifts.
i said no so many times she kept raising the price she would pay. that was even more disconcerting.
so why not sell?
my two friends that look and comment on my stitching were gone. i didn't know what to do
so i talked to grace.
it was a really good talk and to finally hear her voice was so fun.
of course, it helped a lot.
when you talk to someone about a problem, i find that it makes it clearer. you come to the the solution because someone is asking you questions you don't often ask yourself. or maybe it's saying it out loud that helps.
i have never sold anything i have made. i have many offers to buy my weavings but i have always refused. i think mostly because i couldn't admit that i had something worth selling. sometimes i think it's because they aren't perfect and there are so many wonderful weavers that sell things so much better than mine.
plus, to actually make any money on anything raises the price too high.
so then you come to my little cloths. they aren't perfect. they aren't even useful. are they art?
yes i think they are.
BUT
jude sells her things and they are wonderful. to sell mine would feel like i was trying to be her. i would be embarrised for anyone to know i was selling them.
i am not an artist.
or am i?
that is how talking to grace helped.
maybe i am an artist. i do things others can't or don't do. i make things that are unique.
i grew up in a time and place where you didn't get encouragement to be unique. you had to follow the lines. so doing something and putting yourself in front was not encouraged. it is taking a long time to come to terms with all that. you think you are doing great. you think that you have gone past all that old talk and then something happens to make you realize that you are still that little girl. the one that was told to not be a doctor.
"you can't do that, you are a woman and it would be too hard".
why did i listen then? why do i listen now.. not to the outside but the inside.
my things aren't perfect. they aren't suppose to be. they are me. the part of me that puts her spirit into the cloth and lets it become what it wants.
they are little pieces of art that i will never think are as good as jude's or many other peoples work.
but they are mine and i am proud of them and i'm proud of me that i can make them. so i am going to sell.
you've come a long way baby!
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