Age

My mother died at age 65.

I am 62..

She was ill and died from a drug reaction, so not really an old age thing..

Old age?

So now with Jude's post about age here  I have thought a lot about age.

I think the main thing is the uncertainty. When we are younger we never think about how much time we have left. We just know it is going to go on forever. Recently my high school class has been in touch through the wonders of facebook. They decided to have a reunion this year because we have had so many people die. It is a 45 year reunion and out of 180 people, 25 have died. That is a big percentage.

As you know if your read this blog, I have had a cold for the past two weeks. I know it is just a cold, but it put me in bed. I started having such amazing feelings about not being able to work again, or stitch, or weave. I kept wondering how you would stay happy if you couldn't do the things you loved.  How do people with chronic illnesses stay content?

I still work and because I work 12 hour shifts I have more days off than most people. I am tired and not really productive the first day off, but I do get more time to be at home. I decided about a year ago that I would have one day at home that was just for me. I would stitch, weave, knit or read. Whatever I wanted to do. I would not go to the grocery or leave the house. It is Friday for me.

It has made a huge difference in just having the freedom to do what I want one day. Sounds silly, but to me, it has to be stated. Remember, I am a caregiver and was taught to be a wife by a mother of the 50's.  So to not give to others one day is huge.

I also work with a young group of people. I take care of babies, so the parents are a lot younger than I am. About two years ago I started noticing that I was being treated differently. Just little subtle things, but definitely an age thing. In other countries, age is revered.. here it doesn't matter that I have YEARS of experience taking care of babies. I am over 60 and my knowledge doesn't seem to be worth much to some people. They read it on the internet and know how to do it.

 

This is turning into a rant. But I guess my point is..

I like getting older in some respects. I don't have to think about raising children, attracting a mate, even money is a little more plentiful now. I like that I don't have to prove who I am or what I stand for. I have my life and it is comfortable and stable. 
There are days when I think I am tired of it all and wouldn't care if it ended, but mostly I am happy to be 62. I don't like the osteoporosis or the little belly or the sliding skin off my face. I don't like the way I'm treated sometimes.

But I like knowing that soon (maybe another few years) I will be able to have more than Fridays for MY time. That I will get to stitch or weave all day and not have to take care of babies.

I just hope I can do it till I get enough. 

Comments

[Herm]

don't care about how old your are, think how healthy and wise you are! i'm probably the oldest of Jude's students, i'm in my 70's and still going and learning every single day, and everyday is SATURDAY, so try not to think much about age, just live every moment doing what you like best! and if you can, just retire, we can always live with less.

[jude]

i have often wondered about these things, especially if i was to lose my eyesight.

[Linda]

herm, thanks..
i just lost my friend that was 90. she always reminded me to just get on with it and quit worrying about how old i am.
she always said, youre just a baby.
i would love to have a week of saturdays. it is coming.. thanks for the encouragement.

[Linda]

i think losing my site would be the worst and have always thought so.
i do know a woman that is blind that weaves. stitching wouldnt work.
we count our blessings..

[judy keathley]

thank you , linda , for sharing so deeply, so vulnerably. i'm 64 & in the last 8 months 3 women in my larger community have died--all younger than i am.
its so complex ,this aging business. i wouldn't chose to go back ---but i don't find this time of life simple.

is it possible that you could retire now---as herm wondered.
i can't imagine working a 12 hour day. i'm generally healthy--but i think i would be wasted.
could you retire now?

[Linda]

thanks judy
i just dont feel like it is the time to retire. I am still healthy and I work two days one week and three the other.
It keeps me traveling and feeling like I have an independence that I value.
It is hard to know when it will happen. I also worry about our health. It is a complex time but also so good to not be tied to kids and
other things of young age.
I am thinking we should value every day. this blog has taught me a lot. I love this community that we have to talk about these issues.
thanks for reading my blog. I hope you start one soon. It was easy to do...

[judy keathley]

hey linda---
on a totally different note----i can't figure out how to get to your blog independent of a link at judes place --
i've tried lindas blog, making spirit cloth, & summertimes & get no where---
can you help me ---i'll check back here. thanks.

[Linda]

judy
its
summertimes.typepad.com
thanks for reading it.
i am at our cabin and stitching some. going home today and will try to post tomorrow.
are you making hearts..

[Herm]

Linda, how are you doing, have not seen you in SEW!

[judy keathley]

hey linda---
haven't heard from you for awhile--
hope all is well--
thinking of you today---
love--judy

[grace Forrest~Maestas]

hoo hoo! waited for a post, but not yet...i hope your cold
didn't go on and on and on??
about age, well,
age is just time and time is just days and i'm working on
refining my use of days it's an ongoing normal developmental
project i'm thinking. we always lump the "end" of human
development into Adulthood. i think it's way more multi
layered than that.
love to you and what's happening?
xoxoxo

[Nancy]

What an interesting conversation here. I am one of the youngsters to the Jude group, I think. At 52 with some chronic health stuff - I know my body is beginning to change already. Yet I work full time and commute 180 miles a day. And I too work with babies all day. Even though getting up and down off the floor can be a bare, I am grateful that I can still do it! I would love everyday to be Saturday (or your kind of Friday!) Oh well, thanks for a place to say this. And your image of sliding facial skin gave me a good chuckle! Hope I'm still laughing at 62!