Sunday thoughts

Been a while.. More than a year. What happened in a year could be a novel. Just today matters. Sunshine and birds singing, wind blowing and life quiet on a Sunday morning. Been up since 5 and couldn't go back to sleep. Sat on the deck and read and watched birds. Saw a purple finch! Been here at the cabin for a couple of days. 

Sean and I just talked about his friend losing his father. I said how hard it is to lose a parent and he replied, He couldn't even imagine. Made me cry.

This whole virus had been so scary. It comes and goes, the fear and grief for so many gone. Fear of getting sick and being on a ventilator like mom. Fear of dying and leaving the kids. That is the worst grief. I know how hard it is to lose a parent and I have dreaded that for my kids. It changes your life and leaves such a hole in your heart. You hate those times of the day you want to call your mom and then remember she isn't there. I just hope we can get thru this without losing anyone in our family. 

I hope the best for everyone out there. I don't think this blog is read anymore but I found it this morning and decided to write my thoughts. Maybe I will keep it as my daily journal but that doesn't usually happen. I think there are too many things on my mind that I don't want to put anywhere. We'll see